With Gratitude in Your Hearts to God

"Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God." Colossians 3:16

I’ve kept a gratitude journal off-and-on since 1997. When I saw Sarah Ban Breathnach on the Oprah Show I was amazed that something like a gratitude journal could become a best seller on the New York Times bestselling list. But it did. There must be something to this gratitude thing, I thought.

On March 14, and 15, 1997 the church in Jackson, Tennessee asked me to speak at a ladies’ retreat. The theme for the week-end was gratitude. The ladies had planned that each woman would receive a gratitude journal with a message inside written by her husband. Somehow, without me even knowing it, Phil dedicated one to me and they surprised me with it on Friday night. I was floored, not expecting one at all. Even though I was not faithful keeping it at first, I have been faithful to write in one for the last six years. I write down five things I’m thankful for, for that day, every night.

It’s very revealing to look back over these journals and see exactly what happened each year – every year telling a different story—what we went through—my attitude toward it. I thought, for this meditation, I needed to go back, the last four years in a row, to see what I was grateful for July 28 through August 2. Notice the dates; they will tell the story.

2006

July 28– Going to the lake with Ruth and Larson, Rest, Relaxing, Time with Ruth to talk, Friends, Honesty

July 30 – I was born 51 years ago, Prayers, Burdens lifted

2007

July 28, – Dot (my mother-in-law) is 82 today, Playing pool with Clinton and Laura, doing something you’re bad at but having a good time, A new swim suit for Destin, Amazon approved me today

July 30 – Phil went to Dr. Phillips, Phil went to Dr. Gaba, Phil went to the hospital, I am 52 today, I have a husband today who thinks the world of me. And then I add in the margin: hope of better days to come, Friends singing “Happy Birthday” to me in Phil’s hospital room.

At the end of each month there is a blank page where you can write to summarize the month. This is what I wrote for July of 2007.

The world has stopped right now and is only centering around what really matters. Phil is having open heart surgery tomorrow and I know it’s a win/win situation for him and changes are in store for all of us. There will be much suffering and hard, hard days but God will get us through. I have prayed for him to slow down and not be so busy and now God has “made him lie down” to look more closely at the green pastures. I prayed for this and God answered…not the heart attack but the result. He has been my rock for 32+ years and now I can be his. Thank-you God I have a son who would die for him and who will help me get through this with Phil. They both broke down today and I did not. Clinton came, went back and will come again tonight. Phil and I are blessed with closeness of family and friends. This too will pass and we’ll be better.

August 1– Peace in the storm, saying what matters, time alone on a little bed, knowing God is in control, knowing God.

August 2 – Dr. Carter and Dr. Moore, A very skilled surgeon, Waking up, Great nurses, Modern medicine, Hearing the words “It was a success.”

2008

July 28 – 1st anniversary of Phil’s heart attack, Curd Thomas went home, Laura called, Went to movie with Deborah & Leah, Have been to see Mama Mia 3 times, Just a normal day, Phil said “Life is short. God got it right when he said ‘life is a vapor.’”

July 30 – My 53rd birthday. Nashville with David, Kelly and Bella, John Deeb bought our supper, Free facial and hand cream; Made it to Dr. Crevar’s after quick shower and make-up. (And that’s something to be grateful for, for me.)

On the blank page after the month of July, 2008 I wrote, “This has been one of the most stressful months in our married life.” (In a period of 18 months we had had five hospitalizations, two house payments, a heart attack, a triple by-pass, and a wedding.)

August 2 – Bella said Nanna 3 times this a.m. at Bob Evans—first time; supper at O’Charley’s with Ruth and Larson; Ruth gave me a linen outfit; Watching the Bucket List with Ruth and Larson; Bistro chicken at O’Charley’s; Phil’s heart surgery was 1 year ago today—(a day so different from last year’s.) Thank-you God he’s here.

2009

July 27 – Planned Angie’s funeral. (Angie was a thirty year old girl who attended our church who came to my Bible classes and had many health problems, to say the least. She had had 4 back surgeries in 4 years, had sugar diabetes, HBP, asthma, an enlarged heart, balance problems because she was deaf in one ear, Crohn’s disease, and had just found out she had glaucoma. Angie lived alone, so when we found her, the coroner said she had been dead at least 10 days, before my husband, a friend of mine and I found her.) I asked if I could speak at her funeral. Her mother said yes.

July 28 – Angie’s funeral; Great funeral – 1 hour long; I spoke; Did well; So did Karen and Russ; 100 or so at funeral (realistically, maybe 50); Laura (my daughter) was there.

July 30 – My birthday; Owensboro with Ruth and Larson; Saw Marilyn; Courage to walk out of a movie; Ate at Olive Garden; Ruth bought me a purse.

What do I see when I look back over the last four years? What do I see written within the pages of my gratitude journals?

I see good times and bad—sometimes in the same day. This is what I wrote on the day I found Angie. Walked at Parks & Rec. with Ruth at 10:00; had lunch at Ichabon with Phil, Ruth and Larson at 12:00; we all went to see the movie (The Proposal) at 2:40; grilled steaks at the lake at 6:00; took boat ride at sunset; found Angie dead at midnight. One of the best days of my life ended in sorrow.

I see relationships with family (Phil, David, Kelly, Bella, Laura and Clinton).

I see good times with friends, especially Ruth and Larson.

I see heartache and pain, with sickness, heart attacks and hospitalizations.

I see celebrations of joy in birthdays -- my birthdays – knowing they come, but never knowing what to expect.

I see supper at Cracker Barrel with friends and breakfast at Bob Evans with family.

I see times of strength and times of weakness.

There were times I thought it couldn’t get any worse and it did. There were times I couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel but it came.

My sisters, gratitude is an attitude. It is not something that comes out of good fortune or fame, feeling good or “having the world by the tail.” In 1997 when Phil wrote in my first journal I had no idea what the future held. But, I did know who held the future, even though I had no idea the heartache it would bring. I have chosen to be grateful.

In 2006 on the inside cover of my new gratitude journal I wrote, “Last year was one of the worst---May this year be one of the best.” And it wasn’t. 2007 was the year of Phil’s heart attack. On the blank page after July of 2008 I wrote, “This has been one of the most stressful months in our married life. ….. We could not have written a script that would have been any worse.” But God could and He did. From May 19 to June 9, 2009 our daughter Laura was hospitalized. Those of you who were in the Titus 2 Group then, know what we went through. It was the darkest days of our family’s life.

Why do I present such a bleak picture? To let you know I kept, and keep, a gratitude journal in the midst of turmoil and pain. As a matter of fact, the gratitude journal gets me through the pain. When Phil had his heart attack and our house wouldn’t sell and Laura was hospitalized for 21 days, knowing every day I had to come up with 5 things to be grateful for, caused me to be grateful. I looked for those five things.

James tells us to "consider it pure joy when we face trials of many kinds, because the testing of our faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that we may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. But if any of us lacks wisdom, we should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.” I believe the wisdom James is talking about here, comes from us asking God how to deal with the trials were having, that tests our faith. I believe if we ask him for wisdom (wisdom: the right use of knowledge) he will give it. Paul tells us in Colossians 3:16 to let the word of Christ dwell in us richly, as we teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, which is what God gives us, if we ask, when we have trials. Then he says “as you sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs” which we cannot do WITHOUT GRATITUDE IN OUR HEARTS TO GOD.

On August 1, 2007, gratitude is what enabled me to write, “The world has stopped right now and is only centering around what really matters. Phil is having open heart surgery tomorrow and I know it’s a win/win situation for him and changes are in store for all of us. There will be much suffering and hard, hard, days but God will get us through.”

This is what Phil wrote in my journal back in 1997.

Dear Teresa,

I knew that the other wives were getting a message from their husbands and I didn’t want you to feel left out. I know that you will do a good job on the lessons that you have prepared. I hope that it will be a spiritual experience for the women that you teach. I believe that God will speak through you to touch many lives this weekend.

Love,Phil

Ladies, I have sat for years at Jesus’ feet, listening to his words, pondering, growing, meditating. I am amazed at how comforting his words can be. Only by listening to his voice have I been able to sing when sadness prevailed. Only then could I have gratitude in my heart.