She is our waitress that waits on us at Bob Evan’s practically every Saturday morning. David and Kelly came to know her when she waited on their table approximately six weeks ago, when she described for them what had happened to her the night before, which left her feeling totally exhausted. She told them she was 21 years old, had at least one child (Kelly can’t remember how many for sure. But for purposes of this article we’ll say she has one), her name was Bre and she lived in Smith’s Grove. That she not only had the job at Bob Evans she also worked at Motor City Grille. That she had a heart condition, her doctor had told her to slow down but that she couldn’t because she had to support her family. She told them she knew where they could go if they needed a mini vacation that was cheap, nearby at the Best Western Motel. She had taken her child there the night before, so he could swim and she could relax. She could sleep in late the next morning since she didn’t have to drive in from Smith’s Grove and Bob Evans was nearby. Her plans went perfectly until she remembered she had to take her child back to Smiths Grove to stay with his babysitter. That meant she had to make the trip back to Smiths Grove and then back to Bowling Green and try to make it to her job on time. The relaxing evening she thought she was going to have at the Best Western turned into something more like the fiasco at the OK Corral. But, even after telling them the events of the last twenty-four hours she was there waiting on David and Kelly, telling them where to go to have a relaxing evening.
This past Saturday morning Bre was our waitress again. She acknowledged our entire family, as she always does, asked us how we were doing, and told us she had been there since the wee hours of the morning. I asked her when she would be able to go home and she said that oh, she had four jobs. That the day before she had gotten off at two o’clock from Bob Evans, had gone to her second job, and had just gotten home, when the Medical Center called to see if she wanted to work her third job because someone else couldn’t come in. And she told them yes she could. I’m sure that meant getting back into her car, taking her child back to the babysitter. Getting back into the car, driving back to Bowling Green from Smiths Grove, and putting a smile on her face as she walked back into the Medical Center. I know that’s what she must have done, even though she never said it.
I asked her how many hours she had been up and she told me approximately forty-eight. I asked her when she could go home and rest and she told me she got off at 2:00, but that after she got off from Bob Evans she would have to go to her other job. I looked at her in disbelief and asked her how many hours she could stay up like that and she told me she could go for six days without sleep. I then asked her if she was manic-depressive and she looked at me in disbelief. As her face flushed she answered, “Yes, I am.”
I’m sure Kelly knew the direction this conversation was going and that I was going to ask the twenty questions she knew I was going to ask.
How long have you been manic-depressive? I asked.
A long time.
Are you manic now?
Yes.
How long have you been in a mania this time?
Approximately four days.
Do you remember the last time you weren’t high?
Oh, it was about two months ago.
Do you take medication?
No they put me on Cymbalta a few years ago, but I couldn’t take it. It made me worse.
I couldn’t take it either. I had to quit taking it. I’m manic-depressive myself.
What do you do to help you deal with it?
Nothing.
So basically you’re always high. Aren’t you?
Yes.
How long’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep.
Nineteen days.
Have you ever been hospitalized?
No.
I can’t believe you’ve avoided it. You’ve just handled it on your own?
Yes, basically.
Have you ever completely lost touch with reality?
What do you mean?
Lost touch with reality? Gone into another dimension? Out there in another realm?
Yeah. And it hasn’t been that long ago. I was nineteen. It’s been almost three years ago.
Was there anyone there to help you?
No.
So you went through it alone?
Yes. I had to.
I can’t believe you went through it alone.
(Silence.)
Do you have any relationship with your parents?
No not really.
Do they ever tell you they love you?
Sometimes--my dad does when I call him.
Do you have to call him?
Yeah.
You have a heart condition don’t you?
I have an enlarged heart and arthritis in my hip, which is not good for this job.
Do you realize that you probably have the heart condition because you can’t sleep? That partly the reason for your heart condition is that you don’t sleep; they go hand-in-hand. And your body can’t heal as long as you’re awake. You have to sleep for your body to heal.
Yeah, but when I go home and should sleep, I can’t.
Why not?
I dream crazy. Even after my little boy goes to sleep, I just lay there and go in circles.
That’s expected since you’re always manic. You don’t have to sleep and you don’t have to eat when you’re manic.
Oh, I eat. I can eat a lot. Sometimes I don’t, but that doesn’t mean I can’t. When I hadn’t slept for nineteen days the last seven I didn’t eat or sleep then.
Do you have anyone that tells you they love you?
Not really.
Do you know how valuable you are? Do you have any idea how valuable you are?
Yeah (she said reluctantly).
Does anyone ever tell you how valuable you are? That you do such a good job? You are sooo valuable. I want you to know how you always do a good job for us, whether you’re tired or not. I want you to know just how valuable you really are.
She looks at me like she’s heard the word valuable for the first time. It was a word I wanted her to hear and if she wasn’t going to hear it from anybody else, I wanted her to hear it from me today.
I looked at her for several seconds without saying a word, wondering what more I could say as she looked at me saying nothing.
Does anyone ever hug you?
And she looked at me with eyes that spoke volumes. And then I stood up and hugged her, until she pulled away.
I went to the car and recounted to Phil what had just happened. Tears welled up in both our eyes as we thought about Bre and wondered the rest of her story.
If you are a Bre, don’t think you’re going unnoticed. God sees that you’re giving your all for your children, just like He gave for His. If he notices the “nursing ewes” as the NASB calls them, He notices you.
If no one has said “I love you” lately, consider yourself told. His compassions never fail, they are new every morning. He makes His face shine upon you. He gave His son just for you.
He gathers you in his arms. He carries you close to his heart, just like you do your family.
God gently leads those that have young. If you’ve never been told He gives you a place of special honor, know that He does.
This past Saturday morning Bre was our waitress again. She acknowledged our entire family, as she always does, asked us how we were doing, and told us she had been there since the wee hours of the morning. I asked her when she would be able to go home and she said that oh, she had four jobs. That the day before she had gotten off at two o’clock from Bob Evans, had gone to her second job, and had just gotten home, when the Medical Center called to see if she wanted to work her third job because someone else couldn’t come in. And she told them yes she could. I’m sure that meant getting back into her car, taking her child back to the babysitter. Getting back into the car, driving back to Bowling Green from Smiths Grove, and putting a smile on her face as she walked back into the Medical Center. I know that’s what she must have done, even though she never said it.
I asked her how many hours she had been up and she told me approximately forty-eight. I asked her when she could go home and rest and she told me she got off at 2:00, but that after she got off from Bob Evans she would have to go to her other job. I looked at her in disbelief and asked her how many hours she could stay up like that and she told me she could go for six days without sleep. I then asked her if she was manic-depressive and she looked at me in disbelief. As her face flushed she answered, “Yes, I am.”
I’m sure Kelly knew the direction this conversation was going and that I was going to ask the twenty questions she knew I was going to ask.
How long have you been manic-depressive? I asked.
A long time.
Are you manic now?
Yes.
How long have you been in a mania this time?
Approximately four days.
Do you remember the last time you weren’t high?
Oh, it was about two months ago.
Do you take medication?
No they put me on Cymbalta a few years ago, but I couldn’t take it. It made me worse.
I couldn’t take it either. I had to quit taking it. I’m manic-depressive myself.
What do you do to help you deal with it?
Nothing.
So basically you’re always high. Aren’t you?
Yes.
How long’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep.
Nineteen days.
Have you ever been hospitalized?
No.
I can’t believe you’ve avoided it. You’ve just handled it on your own?
Yes, basically.
Have you ever completely lost touch with reality?
What do you mean?
Lost touch with reality? Gone into another dimension? Out there in another realm?
Yeah. And it hasn’t been that long ago. I was nineteen. It’s been almost three years ago.
Was there anyone there to help you?
No.
So you went through it alone?
Yes. I had to.
I can’t believe you went through it alone.
(Silence.)
Do you have any relationship with your parents?
No not really.
Do they ever tell you they love you?
Sometimes--my dad does when I call him.
Do you have to call him?
Yeah.
You have a heart condition don’t you?
I have an enlarged heart and arthritis in my hip, which is not good for this job.
Do you realize that you probably have the heart condition because you can’t sleep? That partly the reason for your heart condition is that you don’t sleep; they go hand-in-hand. And your body can’t heal as long as you’re awake. You have to sleep for your body to heal.
Yeah, but when I go home and should sleep, I can’t.
Why not?
I dream crazy. Even after my little boy goes to sleep, I just lay there and go in circles.
That’s expected since you’re always manic. You don’t have to sleep and you don’t have to eat when you’re manic.
Oh, I eat. I can eat a lot. Sometimes I don’t, but that doesn’t mean I can’t. When I hadn’t slept for nineteen days the last seven I didn’t eat or sleep then.
Do you have anyone that tells you they love you?
Not really.
Do you know how valuable you are? Do you have any idea how valuable you are?
Yeah (she said reluctantly).
Does anyone ever tell you how valuable you are? That you do such a good job? You are sooo valuable. I want you to know how you always do a good job for us, whether you’re tired or not. I want you to know just how valuable you really are.
She looks at me like she’s heard the word valuable for the first time. It was a word I wanted her to hear and if she wasn’t going to hear it from anybody else, I wanted her to hear it from me today.
I looked at her for several seconds without saying a word, wondering what more I could say as she looked at me saying nothing.
Does anyone ever hug you?
And she looked at me with eyes that spoke volumes. And then I stood up and hugged her, until she pulled away.
I went to the car and recounted to Phil what had just happened. Tears welled up in both our eyes as we thought about Bre and wondered the rest of her story.
If you are a Bre, don’t think you’re going unnoticed. God sees that you’re giving your all for your children, just like He gave for His. If he notices the “nursing ewes” as the NASB calls them, He notices you.
If no one has said “I love you” lately, consider yourself told. His compassions never fail, they are new every morning. He makes His face shine upon you. He gave His son just for you.
He gathers you in his arms. He carries you close to his heart, just like you do your family.
God gently leads those that have young. If you’ve never been told He gives you a place of special honor, know that He does.
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